More than anything
by Left my heart in Paris
Summary: A twist on hiatus. Gibbs quits, goes of on his margarita safari to mexico. thinking that he remembers everything. but he doesn't remember a very important aspect of his life, his and Jenny's family, leaving Jenny behind to pick up all the pieces. How can she tell her children that their father doesn't remember they exist, will Gibbs ever return?
1. after hiatus

**This is my new story I hope you like it, any and all suggestions for it are welcome via review or PM**

**It's my own twist of Hiatus, an episode I've never done a story coming from, I've changed the time that Jibbs was together to let them have older children, I hope that's ok and that you like this.**

**The title comes from a song called More than anything by Rudimental featuring Emeli Sande, no surprise there **

More than anything

_Previously on NCIS:_

"_then get me a gurney"_

"_Gibbs can't remember Ducky"_

"_And I killed Ari"_

"_I was wrong"_

"_You weren't wrong"_

"_I was angry at Mike, I couldn't understand how he could quit…until now"_

As soon as Gibbs was out of sight, having stepped into the elevator with Ducky by his side, Jenny left her place on the catwalk and walked as quickly as she could back to her office, not wanting anyone to see the tears that were threatening to fall.

The minute she walked into her office she shut the door behind her and leant against it, finally letting the tears fall, she couldn't believe that her world was falling apart, how had the last twenty four hours had turned her world on its head.

She had to resist the temptation of having a stiff drink but she knew it was wrong, she needed to have a clear head.

Instead she walked over to her chair and collapsed into it, she opened her desk draw and lifted out what she found, her wedding rings, she slipped them on to her hand where they had been since her husband and placed them there, her husband being the man that had just walked out, quit his job to go on a margarita safari, a man who claimed he remembered everything yet his mind was a little hazy on the fact that he had a family, that they had been married for the past eighteen years.

Jenny had completely forgotten that she would have to explain to their three children why their father wasn't coming home and probably wasn't coming home for a while or perhaps, even though she dreaded to think ever.

An hour later she still sat in her office, no longer crying but instead her face was stone cold with emotion, she just stared off into the distance, thinking of all the memories that had happened in this office, Gibbs and Jenny first meeting, she telling him she was pregnant with their third child, the late night dinners, the surprise cup of coffee left on her desk in the mornings, the sweet fleeting kisses when both got a moment, the arguments that always got _resolved_ when they got home but started in the office.

Her office door slamming open made her almost fall out of her chair, she looked over to the door and envisioned her husband standing there, yet she was disappointed when she blinked and it was Ducky, and for once in his life he actually looked upset and a little angry.

"Did he get on the plane?" Jenny asked him.

Ducky gave her a small nod "Why didn't you say anything Jennifer?" he asked her.

Jenny closed her eyes for a moment before talking "Jethro remembers everything Ducky, everything but me, his family, I thought that maybe….maybe if he didn't remember us that maybe he doesn't want to….. to be with me, with the kids, maybe….maybe I was only supposed to be another ex-wife to him…the only reason he stayed with me was because he felt obligated to when we had Jay and then along came Jess and then LJ then maybe he felt trapped and couldn't leave"

"Jennifer do you hear yourself" Ducky yelled at her "This is Jethro were talking about, he wouldn't do that, he loves you, he loves your family, your children" he told her "He doesn't remember because he is focused on his past at the moment, but I assure you the moment that he remembers his future, his present, you, then he'll come back"

Jenny nodded "I hope you're right, I don't know what I'm going to tell the kids" she said feeling sick at the thought.

"The only problem with him returning will be that he'll be angry when he realises you didn't say anything to him" Ducky warned her before going to turn away to the door. "He spoke about you, he asked me what type of a relationship you had with him" he stopped and turned to her.

"What did you tell him?" she asked literally sitting on the edge of her seat.

Ducky shrugged his shoulders "I told him the truth, you two love each other very much" and with that Ducky walked out of the office leaving Jenny alone with her own thoughts.

Jenny sat for another couple of minutes before picking up her stuff and put on a brave face for her journey home so she could face her children and tell them the truth.

Half an hour later Jenny walked through the front door of the George town house that she, Jethro and their children had called home for the last eighteen years.

The minute she'd shut the door she heard the sound of feet rumbling through the house, just as she'd hung up her coat the three children appeared, Jasper Jackson was eighteen, Jessica Anne was twelve and in her oldest son's arms was a squirming two and a half year old Lucas Jethro.

"Hey guys" Jenny hugged them all and kissed the sides of their heads, she had to stand on her tip toes to kiss Jay as he had inherited the Gibbs tall genes and so his height was rivalling Jethro's.

"Where's dad?" Jess asked with a concerned look on her face.

"Well uh…." Jenny took a breath "He's gone to visit uncle Mike for a couple of weeks, he had a tough case and needed some space but he sends his love" she told them faking a bright smile.

"I'll put LJ to bed" Jenny said taking her youngest from her eldest's arms and then carried her baby boy up the stairs.

Every single one of her children's bedroom held an item of handmade furniture that they had worked on with him in the basement, Jess had a trunk with her name written on it, Jay had his bed frame which was handmade, Jenny wasn't sure what Lucas would have but right now he was using the same baby bed that her two other children had used when they were his age.

"Come on baby boy, sleep time" she whispered soothingly to him before pressing a kiss to his dark brown curls and watching as his blue eyes closed and soon he fell asleep, Jenny switched on his baby mobile and his night light before walking out and closing the door behind her, knowing full well he would wake up in a couple of hours, crying for his father to read to him.

Once out of the room she walked down the corridor, passing her daughter's bedroom as she did so and was happy to hear music blaring from the speakers with in, she hadn't caught on to her mother lying.

Jenny then made her way back down the stairs and to the kitchen, getting herself some coffee, she and Jethro had agreed to cut down their alcohol intake, so they only drank bourbon on rare occasions.

Just as she'd poured herself some coffee a figure in the doorway made her jump "Oh Jasper" she put her hand over her heart to stop it beating so fast "You've got to stop creeping up on me like that" she told him with a soft smile before moving over to him. "You're getting more and more like your father every day" she informed him moved a piece of his dark brown hair out of his face.

"Mum, what's going on?" he asked her.

Jenny gulped before answering her son in an almost shaky voice "I already told you" she said before turning back to the coffee pot and then pulled out two mugs out of habit, her heart sank for a moment and all her walls crumbled at once, a tear fell down her cheek, she felt strong arms wrap around her and found that Jasper was holding her for a moment before he let go.

"Please tell me" Jay asked his mother, just like his father he knew when Jenny was holding something back.

"Fine" Jenny nodded before wiping her eyes, feeling stupid for showing her son weakness, "But you can't tell Jess or LJ" she told him.

"I won't" Jasper assured his mother.

"Your father was in an explosion and hit his head, in doing so it meant he lost his memory, Ziva managed to get it back but he still doesn't remember us" she explained "I don't know why, but I thought it would just come to him but it didn't" Jenny shook her head "And now your father is gone and I don't know if he's going to come back let alone remember any of us again"

Jay wasn't sure what to say, his father had been his hero his whole life, his idol, he'd walked away, he couldn't believe that his father, the great Leroy Jethro Gibbs was off in Mexico drinking himself silly and possibly flirting with women at the cantina when he had a family that wanted him back home.

"I've had a long day, I'm going to go to bed" she told her son.

"I'll lock up" Jay told her.

"Thank you" she pressed a kiss to her son's forehead before walking away up the stairs to her bedroom that she usually shared with her husband, it would be a night spent of no sleep but thoughts and quiet crying. She just wanted her husband home.

TBC…

**I hope you like this, I'm not great at writing son and parent relationships as I only have sisters and my dad never sees his parents.**

**Please review. **


	2. shalom

Chapter 2

Jenny woke two weeks later, her husband's side of the bed still cold, still un slept in, she stretch out in the double bed they used to share and sighing feeling the cold, she reached out and pulled his pillow to her chest and took a deep breath.

His smell of Jethro was fading from the pillow, soon it would be completely gone, she looked around form her place in the bed, his stuff was still left un touched, his alarm clock still sitting on the floor where he'd knocked it off of the bedside table that morning of the explosion, his NCIS t-shirt and sleep trousers still sitting in the arm chair by his wardrobe, she hadn't had the heart to change anything since he hadn't come back.

Rolling back over she sighed before running a hand down her face, she'd already cried herself out over this situation, she was being strong for her children, so far they thought he was just away for a little while and that he would be home any day now, so far Jasper, their eldest had made no sign of telling his brother and sister of the truth.

Her phone rang on her bedside table which brought her back to reality, she reached out and grabbed it and answered "Shepard, okay Cynthia I'll be in as soon as possible" she spoke to her secretary before putting the phone down.

Fifteen minutes later she walked into her kitchen to find Jess sitting at the kitchen table with a bowl of cereal in front of her, LJ sat in his chair eating his oatmeal but getting most of it on his face, Jay saw his mother and poured her a cup of coffee.

"Thank you" she smiled at her son before taking the cup of coffee before taking a sip, she then walked over to her other children and pressed a kiss to both of their heads.

"Come on LJ you need to put your shoes on" Jenny told her youngest as she wiped his mouth with a cloth.

"Okay" LJ slipped out of the chair and then scrambled to get his shoes, Jenny followed him to help him velcro up his shoes.

Once he was ready Jenny picked him up "I'll be back by Six, be good at school" she told Jay and Jess before leaving for NCIS.

Half an hour later she walked into NCIS her suitcase in one hand and her other holding LJ to her hip "Good morning director" George the door man greeted her.

"Morning George" She gave him a weak smile before going to the elevator and hitting the button for the floor where the day care centre for NCIS employees were.

Ten minutes later after dropping LJ off at the day care, Jenny finally made it to her office "What have we got Cynthia?" she asked her assistant who followed her into the office.

"Agent David hasn't come in today, Gibbs' Team….I mean DiNozzo's team are worried" Cynthia informed her.

Jenny nodded "Keep me updated" she told her before letting Cynthia go.

…

Hours later Jay had already come to take LJ home, she didn't think she could survive this hard time as a single parent without her oldest son being there for her, it just made her realise how much she needed her husband.

Shutting the door behind the FBI she sighed, it had been a long day of her being seen as the bad guy as Tony and the gang secretly worked together to figure out what was going on with Ziva, she'd also heard that Gibbs was back but she was yet to see him so she hopped it was just a rumour.

She looked at her clock on the wall and was happy to find that it was only just five o-clock this at least gave her comfort knowing she could keep to her promise and go home early.

Jenny decided to go and check her emails before maybe going home for the day, as she made her way to her desk her office door swung open with a bang.

Turning around she gasped upon seeing her husband standing there, her husband who couldn't remember who she was, the fact that they were married, they had children together, forgotten their eighteen years together.

"Hi Jen" he smiled at her, his hair was longer and messy, he had grown his facial hair, his skin was tanned, he looked very _very_ attractive.

"Jethro" she said his name her voice hoarse, "How's Mexico?" she asked him.

"Quiet" he said as normal a man of few words unlike herself, they had always completed each other.

"And your memory?" she asked him, feeling very nervous, sort of hoping that he might remember her and their family.

"Still fuzzy on a few things" Gibbs told her, his eyes not moving from her, he started to take small steps towards her.

"Oh" Jenny nodded slowly "Your hair" she smiled at him.

"What about it?" Gibbs asked her as they both seemed to move closer to each other.

"It's long, I like it" she admitted "Reminds me of Serbia…you remember the little farm house…a week with nothing to do but…." She began but Gibbs cut her off.

"Like I said memories still fuzzy on a few things" Gibbs reminded her, Jenny had been so caught up in memories she'd forgotten the present state.

"Right" Jenny nodded "Well I….." she was cut off this time by Gibbs' lips on hers.

Her arms wrapped around his neck, running her fingers through his hair as his tongue begged for entrance, which she granted with a groan, his hands were at her waist, pulling her close.

She felt like in that moment everything was okay, that she and Gibbs were just sharing a heated kiss between husband and wife, two people madly in love.

But it ended too soon, both needing to breath, Gibbs pulled away and let go of her as Jenny's eyes fluttered open, her cheeks flushed red.

He leant forward and gave her another kiss on the cheek before walking out, leaving a shocked Jenny behind. What the hell had just happened?

TBC…

**Hope you guys like**


	3. basements and bonvoyage

Chapter 3

"I'm home" Jenny's voice echoed through the George town house as she closed the front door with her free hand, in the other a bag of Chinese take-out.

She threw her hand bag on the table before making her way to the kitchen and putting the bag of food on the side.

The redhead then made her way to the living room where Jess sat on the sofa, watching TV, flipping through the channels, trying to find something to watch.

"How was your day?" She asked her daughter as she sat down beside her on the sofa.

"It was good" Jess smiled at her mother, "How was your day?" she asked "Any funny stories?"

"No" Jenny shook her head "it was a rather quiet day" she lied, she didn't want to admit that they day had been like a rollercoaster and that their father, who couldn't remember who they were was in town.

"Do I smell Chinese?" Jess asked her mother, Chinese food being her favourite.

"Yeah, go wash up, I'm going to get your brothers" Jenny told her pressing a kiss to the side of her head before getting up and heading to the stairs.

Going up stairs she heard her eldest son Jay talking to LJ, she couldn't help but think how it should be her husband playing cowboys and Indians with Lucas not Jasper.

"Mama" Lucas ran to Jenny when he spotted her watching him and Jasper from the hallway.

"Hey baby" she picked him up and kissed his cheek "Have you been good for Jasper?" she asked him but really looking over at her eldest son.

"He was great" Jasper assured his mother. "Come on Luke why don't we get washed up then have dinner" he suggested to his little brother, knowing he needed to get the Red Indian war paint off of his cheeks.

"It's okay, Jess is waiting" Jenny told him before carrying Luke down the stairs, Jasper followed behind.

Soon the family of four sat down and were eating the food that Jenny had brought home with her. They sat at the dinner table, Jenny at one of the heads, Luke near her and Jasper next to him, Jess sat the other side of Jenny, the twelve year old looked at the un occupied end of the table where her father usually sat.

"Have you heard anything from dad, like when he'll be back?" she asked turning to look at her mother.

Jenny was a little surprised by this question, all though she knew she shouldn't be as they would want Jethro home soon, he was always so close to all of their children, they probably missed him more than she did as they didn't even understand what was really going on, well Jasper new but it still wasn't enough.

"Uh, no I haven't heard anything" she said, I mean yes he was in D.C right now but she just couldn't tell them that, "I'm sure he'll be back soon, you know your father, he loves you guys and can't stay away long" she smiled, Jess just nodded before they all continued to eat or in Luke's case smear it all over his face.

…

Hours later, Luke had gone to bed after hours of crying and stamping his feet that he wanted his father to read to him and it had broken Jenny's heart to see her baby boy so upset and there was for once nothing he could do that would comfort him.

Jasper and Jess were watching TV downstairs in the living room, while she sat upstairs in the bedroom she shared with her husband.

She decided that she needed to see Jethro again, talk to her husband and ask him if his memory was any different, why he had kissed her.

So she picked out a strappy green, sparkly dress that stopped just above her knee, matching green jacket and green stilettos. It had been the dress she had worn on their last night out together before all of the mess had happened. her hair was down in her natural curl, her makeup light.

After Jenny checked herself in the mirror one more time she made her way down the stairs and to the living room, she pocked her head around the door "I have to go back to work for an hour or so, I'll be back later, if Luke wakes up he can have one cookie and a glass of milk, but then it's straight back to bed" she informed them, her children just nodded to engrossed in the TV program they were watching.

She then slipped out of the front door and to her car, then drove off, knowing exactly where to go, having made the trip a thousand times.

…

Gibbs stood in his basement, boxing his things up, he'd decided Mexico was for him, he needed to get away from this house, from NCIS, it was making him sick. It only brought him pain and memories of his Shannon and Kelly, at least in Mexico he could drink away his sorrows and just lay and wait to eventually be reunited with them.

Putting the last hand tool in the last cardboard box, and began sealing it up, when he heard his front door open, he was sure it would be a member of his old team, but then he heard high heels tapping as the person walked. Then they appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Jethro" Jenny smiled at him as he stared at her wide eyed, to him she looked beautiful, a vision in green, the colour making her eyes stand out and her hair seem as on fire.

"Hubba hubba" he mumbled to himself as she walked down the stairs, he closed his eyes for a moment as a memory came back to him, her in that dress, looking very much the same. Him standing in the basement by a wooden frame of a boat? He himself dressed in a suit and he'd said the same thing.

"Jenny" he said brining himself back to the now, she'd finally reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Are you going somewhere?" she asked him, taken aback by the face there was no longer a boat in his basement but loads of boxes, all labelled and taped up, ready to be shipped or put in storage.

"I won't need this house in Mexico" Gibbs told her going to take a swig from the bottle of bourbon he had.

"Mexico" Jenny said, her voice showing sadness and shock. "You're going back to Mexico?" she asked him.

"Yeah" Gibbs nodded to her "I kind of like it there, it's peaceful, the best place for me to retire"

"Retire" Jenny practically yelled at him "You can't" she told him.

"Why?" Gibbs asked her, and that's when she realised he really didn't remember her or their children.

"I need you" she told him "I can't do this by myself" she said talking about raising the kids, living a life without him when she loved him so much.

"Of course you can, you don't need me to run NCIS, you're an amazing director" he told her, thinking she was talking about NCIS, I mean what else could she be taking about?

Jenny shook her head to stop herself from crying, "So that kiss….that was what….it was a goodbye?" she asked him.

Gibbs nodded "That and I couldn't help myself" he admitted with a slight shrug of his shoulders "I think I may have loved you" he told her "But for some reason I can remember everything but you and I really want to" he added as he reached out to touch her cheek where a loan tear escaped.

He brushed it away gently with his thumb, making her close her eyes, he then wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close to him, he tilted her head up capturing her lips with his.

He arms went to his waist and pulled him closer to deepen the kiss, it all felt so similar, so safe, like she belonged in his arms, with him, she didn't want him to go, she didn't know what she would do.

Gibbs ran his hands down her arms, and then held her hands entwining their fingers, Jenny began to kiss his jaw line when she felt him freeze.

She pulled away and looked at him "Jethro" she spoke his name her left hand going to his cheek, she almost wished he might have got his memory back.

He raised his hand to touch hers, he then lifted her hand "Your married" he said looking at her rings.

Jenny gulped, she'd forgotten to take them off, she shook her head, he pushed her away from him and he backed away, how could she have led him on, he thought in disgust, "You should go home to your husband" he told her.

The redhead shook her head "You don't understand" she told him with tears in her eyes, he was the only man, the only person other than her children that could bring her to tears. She backed away slowly to the stairs "I really love you Jethro, more than you know" she told him before disappearing, hating the fact that that might be the last time she would see her husband.

TBC…

**Hope you guys don't hate me, please review.**


	4. memory and grounding

Chapter 4

Leroy Jethro Gibbs was ripped from his sleep by the sound of a baby crying, screeching at the top of their lungs, piercing his ears, he sat up straight in his bed. His eyes shot open, blood shot and wide.

He looked around the dark, muggy room his was in, he was still in Mexico, he was in Mike's spare room, well his now, it was so hot his old NCIS t-shirt was sticking to his chest, his hair was longer so stuck to the back of his neck in an uncomfortable way.

Throwing the thin sheet covers off he walked over to the small window and tried to open it only to find it stuck, it was just a number of things in this old creaky shack that he needed to fix to earn his keep.

The baby crying, there were no babies here, it was just him and Mike on an abandoned sea front, it was their own land, so the baby must have been a memory.

He shook his head, it couldn't have been Kelly, he'd been shipped off a couple of days after she'd been born and in that time she'd been in hospital and by the time he had returned, the little girl had been put into a sleeping pattern that meant Shannon or he was there as soon as she woke up and she didn't cry.

Gibbs needed to breath, he couldn't comprehend where his brain was going, the things he still had a feeling he didn't know, he needed to breath, walking almost mindlessly to his bedroom door he pulled down the handle and opened it.

The ex-marine crept through the old wooden shack, the floor boards creaking under his foot, through the small living area and kitchen and then outside, by passing Mike who had passed out in the hammock out on the deck and went straight to where the sea met the shore.

He took a deep breath of the cooler salty air, closing his eyes, he heard more screams, this time it wasn't a babies, it was a women's, it was Jenny's and not the good kind, like she was in pain, her heard himself trying to comfort her, telling her she was doing great and it would be over soon.

It must have been when they'd been partners, she must have been shot or something, of that he was sure, it couldn't have been anything else.

Jenny, he was so angry at her, why had she tempted him so, what was it about her, she was married why did she make it known to him that she loved him, why was she tormenting him with something he couldn't have? In the two more weeks since he'd left D.C since the night in the basement, she'd haunted him.

"You okay Probie?" he turned to find Mike beside him.

"I dunno Mike" he admitted "There's something ….I ….I just can't" Gibbs tried to explained but couldn't he was so frustrated.

"You need a drink" Mike turned to walk back to the shack.

"I need to go back to D.C" Gibbs told him.

Mike gave him a weird smile, almost telling Gibbs he knew something he didn't or didn't remember "I know" he told his friend. "You sure though?" he asked.

"Something's telling me, being here is wrong, there are people there that need me, that want me, I have to know what it is" Gibbs explained.

Mike nodded "Guess that means no tiki tub for me then" he said with a slight chuckle before they both then headed back to the shack.

…

Jenny sat at the kitchen table, her fingers tapping the side of the white ceramic mug in front of her, that was now full of cold coffee, she'd been sitting there for an hour staring into space.

"What is wrong with Mum ?" Jess asked her elder brother Japer or Jay as her preferred, as she stood outside the kitchen door looking at her mother who was unaware of them both standing in the shadows.

"I dunno" Jay lied and tried to get Jess to leave "Let's leave her alone, she'll tell us if she wants to" he continued.

"Has she told you anything about Dad?" Jess asked her brother.

"No" Jay told her, but he scratched the back of his head, he was lying.

"What is it?" Jess asked him and followed her brother to the living room "I demand to know" she told him, her hands going straight to her hips, looking just like her mother.

"Fine but you cannot tell Mum I told you or tell LJ" Jay told her.

"Of course I'm going tell a two and half year old" she glared at him just like Gibbs, a trait all the children had picked up from their father.

"Do you want to know or not?" Jay asked her, Jess nodded so he continued "Dad lost his memory, he remembers, everything apart from mum or us" he told her, the twelve year old stood there for a moment completely shocked her mouth open, her daddy didn't remember her, he didn't even know she existed, didn't have the memories she had of their family together, he didn't remember the women that all the kids knew he was so madly in love with.

"Where is he?" Jess asked, like her mother, she put on a mask, not showing how broken she really was inside by the news.

"Mexico with uncle Mike" Jay informed his little sister.

"Well lets go" she told him.

"What?" Jay asked her as if she were crazy.

"We should go to Mexico, we should tell him who we are, who he is and that'll bring his memory back" Jess explained.

"Jess it's not like that" Jay told her "We can't"

"Why not?" she asked him "Isn't it worth a try, or would you rather Dad never remember, that we just let him live the rest of his life not knowing who he really is, Mum spending the rest of her life upset and knowing we didn't do anything to help" she explained.

"Okay" Jay nodded, "you pack, I'll book the tickets, we'll leave tonight, we can get a taxi to uncle mikes from the airport" he told her before they dispersed and headed to their rooms. Jenny still sitting lost in thought in the kitchen.

…

Gibbs took a gulp, he looked out of the plane window and saw the Washington airport below him, he was nervous, he couldn't help but think that something was waiting for him to return. He turned to look at the spare seat next to him and for some reason a memory of Jenny sitting beside him, smiling at him, looking a lot younger, she held his hand and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

He shook his head, he needed to talk to her, he needed to see her, he needed to remember where she lived he thought with chuckle as the plane landed, he soon got off to go get his duffle bag.

What he didn't know was that meanwhile doing this, his two oldest children were walking into the airport.

"Do you think mum's going to be okay?" Jess asked knowing that her mother had a furious temper and that she'd probably go to Mexico herself and drag them back by their ears and then ground them for the rest of their lives.

"No" Jay answered his sister honestly, "But we need to try to help Dad" he told her and she nodded in agreement.

As they walked past arrivals Jess stopped dead in her tracks where something or more like someone caught her eye. Jay grabbed his sisters arm "Come on Jess, we don't have time for you to gawk at guys" he told her.

"Dad" was the only thing she said, still not looking at her brother.

"What?" he asked so confused before following her line of sight and he saw it too, their father was walking out of the arrival area, his fading old green duffle bag slung over his shoulder, his hair was longer and he had a beard and was tanned but it was their father none the less. "What are we going to do?" Jay asked his sister but she wasn't listening to him, instead she walked straight for him, he ran to her and pulled her back.

"We can't just walk up to him" Jay told her as Gibbs came closer.

"Why the hell not, he's my dad, he's our dad?" Jess shrugged off his hand before making her way towards him.

Gibbs looked up when he heard what he could only describe as familiar bickering, it wasn't Tony, Ziva, Tim and Abby it was a lot closer to home, he looked around and that's when he saw two teenagers, a boy abut eighteen nineteen and a girl about twelve or thirteen.

He couldn't help himself, he walked over to them, neither of them realising he was right there "Would you two cut it out, if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all" he almost yelled at them, then it hit him, he had told them millions of times, everything came back to him.

The baby crying, Jenny screaming, it was her giving birth to their three kids, how he had been there every time to hold her hand, because that was all he could do when she was giving him the greatest gift she could, memories of him and a young Jasper working together in the basement , on the boat, on his bedframe, working with Jess on her chest, he and LJ playing imaginary cow boys and Indians, reading the little boy stories before he went to bed, Jenny, she was married, yeah to him, she'd worn that dress when they'd gone out on date night, he loved her so much, he remembered every inch of their amazing eighteen years together, how she'd come back with him in Paris, they were so in love.

"Dad?" Jess asked him, her bright blue eyes shining with tears. She was the spitting image of her mother but had his eyes.

Gibbs then did something that Jay and Jess hadn't been expecting, he pulled them both into a hug and kissed the top of both of their heads "I love you guys" he told him hugging them close "I've missed you so much, I'm so sorry" he told them.

"We missed you too Dad" Jess told him hugging her dad close.

"You remember?" Jay asked his father as they pulled apart.

"Yeah, Jasper I do" he told him, his son really did look like him, it was rather eerie, but he had his mother's warm green eyes. "What are you guys doing here?" Gibbs asked them after a moment.

"Ugh, to come get you" Jess tried to grin innocently at her father but it would never have worked.

"The truth" he told them

"We were going to go to Mexico to see you, mum told me when she got really upset" Jasper explained.

"And she knows that you're going?" Gibbs asked doubting that his wife would let them go to Mexico, she would have thought she'd lost Gibbs she wouldn't want to risk losing more.

"Well, she probably does now" Jess said referring to the letter they'd left stuck to the fridge by her favourite Eiffel tower magnet.

"We'd better get home" Gibbs told them, Jasper took his bag while Jess wrapped an arm around her dad's waist and he put his arm around her shoulder and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Twenty minutes later Jasper pulled his car, that he'd fixed up himself with a little help from his dad of course, into the drive way, where Jenny already stood with LJ resting on her hip and phone in one hand along with her car keys.

"Abby never mind, they've just pulled up in my drive way" she informed Abby down the phone "Yeah I'll call you later" she then put the phone down as her two children got out of his car.

"I know I haven't set a very good example, but never, ever to you ever leave and just leave a letter" she yelled at them both "I mean what the hell do you think you were doing?" she said angry because she was worried at them.

"Were sorry" Jess told her mother before looking down at her feet.

"Sorry isn't even going to cover it" Jenny told them "You two are grounded, Jess if you think you're going to the cinema this weekend you've got another thing coming and Jay, well no, no going out with friends, both of you are grounded" she told them getting frustrated, missed with a feeling of relief and anger but happiness they were home safe and sound.

"Hey Jen, cut them some slack" Jay and Jess moved to show Gibbs who stood behind them.

"Jethro" Jenny spoke his name in a whisper as the kids moved out of the way as Gibbs moved towards his wife.

"Dah" LJ squealed and clapped his hands from his place in his mother's arms.

"Hey Lucas, I've missed you" He took LJ from Jenny's arms and held his baby boy close and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"Bang bang" LJ yelled at his father.

"Yeah I promise I'll play later buddy, first I have to talk to Mummy" he told him before passing him to Jess who then walked into the house leaving their parents to have a moment alone.

"Jethro" Jenny said her nostrils flaring in such a cute way that told him she was angry, "How long…how long has your memory been back?" she asked him.

Gibbs smiled at her, he'd missed her beyond belief, how could he not have remembered them "About half an hour" he told her "I came back to D.C because I needed you, I needed to talk to you, I got to the airport and saw Jasper and Jess arguing and It all came back to me, me you, our family" he told her reaching out to touch her red locks, "I love you Jen" he told her as he buried his nose in her hair.

"I love you Jethro" Jenny wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a hug and then pulled him in for a kiss, a real kiss, not one that she had to imagine was between husband and wife like the last too but this one was real, they knew there was a lot to talk about but right now, them together was what they wanted more than anything.

TBC…

**I think one more chapter after this, any suggestion? Review.**


	5. talking

Chapter 5

The next day, Jess and Jasper decided to take their little brother Lucas out for the day at his favourite place, the zoo, this was for a number of reasons' one being that it meant their parents could spend some time together as they hadn't really been able to do since Gibbs got his memory back the day before, they'd had a moment on the driveway but that had been it, it would also allow them to maybe try and redeem themselves to their mother because she had still grounded them and so they were still standing in a hole.

Gibbs padded down the oak staircase of the Georgetown family home, he'd been unable to sleep for most of the night and then was woken by the sound of a door shutting and decided to investigate.

He made his way to the kitchen to get himself some coffee, needing to start his day right, needing to get back into his old routine, as he walked through the house he found himself smiling upon thinking of all the memories that it had for him, all their children's first words, first steps, all of them having their pictures taken by the front door his wife loved so much, on their first day of school, this house was only full of happy memories for him.

But Gibbs knew it was a different story for his wife, he remembered how often he used to find her sitting in a room lost in thought, lost in the dark past that lurked in the deepest corners of the house, the bedroom she shared with him had been her parents, had been where her mother had lived the last of her days, the study she used as her own office was the very room her father had committed suicide in, the same room she'd found him covered in blood and the gun in his hand, he could only hope that one day maybe even just for a moment Jenny would only see the good memories the house held for them just as he did.

Walking into the kitchen Gibbs saw a note stuck to the coffee machine, he read it and smiled at the scribbled note in Jasper's hand writing that explained that Jenny and Gibbs would be alone for the rest of the day. He then poured two mugs of coffee before taking them back upstairs.

Jenny had been woken by Gibbs leaving the bedroom, she'd been trying to stop herself from waking up encase everything was a dream and he still was in Mexico but her fears had been put to rest when Gibbs walked into their bedroom wearing an old NIS t-shirt and sleep trousers, holding two hot mugs of coffee.

"Morning" Gibbs greeted his wife handing her a mug and then giving her a quick kiss on the lips before going to his side of the bed and getting back under the covers.

Jenny smiled as she watched him, taking a sip of her own coffee before putting it on the bedside table then turned to him "I was worried it was all a dream" she admitted as she snuggled into her husband's side while he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

"I'll never leave you again" he vowed pressing a kiss to the top of her head, taking in the scent of her shampoo from the shower she'd had before bed mixed with the coffee and natural smell of her, it was home, it was classic Jenny, something that made him feel all warm and safe inside.

"You better not or I'm coming down to Mexico myself and dragging you back here" Jenny promised him, herself wishing she'd done that in the first place.

"Why….why didn't you?" Gibbs asked her.

Jenny moved away a little from him so she could talk "I thought that maybe….if you didn't remember us it was because you didn't want to…you didn't want what we had….that you didn't want me….that we were all just replacements for Shannon and Kelly" she finished her explanation her green eyes turning into murky watery lakes.

Gibbs shook his head, he made her think like this, her past made her think like this, he now realised his past not only haunted and taunted him but her also, it hurt the women he loved, he was hurting the women he loved, he pulled her close to him and kissed her deeply, "I love _you_ Jen" he told her "I want _you, _I will always want you, never doubt that" he mumbled.

Jenny nodded as they pulled apart "I should have told you, I should have made you stay" she told him, Gibbs just gave her a kiss that told her that he was here and that was all that matters.

She smiled at him as she rubbed his cheek with the pad of her thumb "the beard needs to go" she told him making them laugh, looking at him she realised how old they really were getting and the beard only added years.

Gibbs chuckled "I thought you liked my hair long" he told her, he himself running a hand through her long red locks that he'd refused to let her cut into a pixie cut a couple of months back.

"Yeah this hair" she said running her hand through his longer silver hair "Reminds me of when we met" she told him with a smile, thinking of how he'd walked into her office all that time ago and kissed her before walking out, thinking of their conversation in the basement of his old house.

They sat in a moment in a comfortable silence, just holding each other, Jenny closed her eyes for a moment before they shot open "Where are the kids?" she asked knowing that it was a Saturday and usually by now Lucas would be up, most likely jumping on their bed.

"They've gone out for the day, it's just you and me" Gibbs informed her, Jenny smiled upon seeing the mischievousness in his eyes, she leant up and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"So Director can I return to NCIS?" he asked her after a moment

Jenny froze for a moment she hadn't even thought about that "Well I'm not sure you should" she told him.  
"What do you mean?" Gibbs asked a little a hurt.

"Jethro…you lost your memory, you were in an explosion, are you sure your fit enough to go back, I mean you'll have to pass the…." Jenny began but her husband cut her off.

"Which one don't you think I'll pass the psyche evaluation" he paused seeing how her eyes were guarded telling him she didn't think he would pass it "Or the arms efficiency?" he asked her.

"Now that I know you'll pass" she told him, using the same demanding and controlling tone as he did to her.

God they'd both missed the sparing between them, how easily they could rile each other up. "I'll pull a few strings, you should be able to start Monday" she informed him.

Gibbs smiled at her "Monday huh…." He said as he began to trace imaginary patterns on her arm "What are we going to do for the rest of the day?" he mused, Jenny just rolled her eyes before pulling him to her so his lips met hers.

TBC…

**One chapter left although I'm not sure what it will be about. Hope you like. Please review.**


	6. more than anything

Chapter 6

"Are you sure your ready to go back to work?" Jenny asked her husband on the Monday morning, a coffee cup in both of their hands as they leant against the counter.

"Why, don't you think you can handle me?" Gibbs asked her with a cheeky smile and raise on an eyebrow.

Jenny gave him a small glare "I'm worried you can't handle yourself" she told him "This has been an eye opener, I don't know what I'll do if you get yourself in another explosion or even if you can survive another one" she told him.

"Jen, I'll be fine" he assured her pulling her in for a hug, burying his nose in her hair, loving the scent of her shampoo. Jenny then looked up at him, her pale green eyes meeting his bright blue, they both then leant down for a short but sweet kiss, both aware that the children would be down soon.

They didn't noticed Jess standing in the door way, she'd stopped when she'd found her parents embracing one another, they always made her smile, she loved that her parents were never shy to show one another how much they loved each other, how they could tell each other just by looking into each other's eyes, they were so obviously in love, she just hopped that when she was their age she would have the same relationship with someone.

When she'd seen they'd pulled apart she walked in, pretending like she'd seen nothing.

"Morning Jess" Gibbs greeted his daughter with a smile.

"Morning Dad, Mum" she smiled before hoping up on to one of the breakfast bar stools and taking the bowl of cereal her mother offered her.

Lucas then ran into the kitchen stumbling into his father's legs "Whoa there little man" Gibbs chuckled as he picked up his youngest son and held him close.

"Daaaa" Luke yelled at his father with a smile, they'd spent most of the weekend playing war games, mostly Luke's favourite, cowboys and Indians.

"You need to get your shoes little man" he told him, knowing that he and Jenny had to leave for work soon and Luke had to go to the NCIS day care. He set the little boy back on the floor and watched as he ran off much like a windup toy.

Jasper then walked into the kitchen and went straight to the coffee pot, he was definitely his parents son, he wouldn't wake up without coffee.

"Morning" Jenny greeted her son, the eighteen year old nodded before pouring himself some cereal and going to sit beside Jess at the stools.

"Your father and I have to go to work, we'll be home by 1800 and we'll bring Chinese" she told them both before pressing a kiss to the foreheads and then rushing out to the hall where Luke sat on the floor trying to put his shoes on.

So Jenny scooped him up and sat on the bottom step with his feet on her laps so she could put his shoes on for him and once they were on she pressed a kiss to his forehead, he'd been an unexpected surprise but she wouldn't change that fact she'd gotten pregnant with him for a second, she understood the gap between his older siblings and himself might cause problems in the future but she and Gibbs would try and keep them all as close as possible.

"Come on" Gibbs offered his hand for Jenny to take which she did, he helping her up off of the steps to her feet and then picked up Luke, not wanting her to hurt herself.

…

After they'd been a work for almost two hours Jenny was just replying to her emails when Cynthia buzzed the intercom "Officer David is here to see you ma'am" she informed her boss.

"Send her in Cynthia" Jenny said turning her gaze away from her computer to see the Israeli walking into the room. "Ziva how can I help you?" she asked him a smile, they'd always been great friends.

"Gibbs is back" she stated, her face showing shock but also concern.

"Yes he is" Jenny smiled, so happy that she finally has her husband back and he was relatively fine.

"Does he…"Ziva began.

"Yes he remembers _everything" _Jenny nodded with a smile.

"When?" her friend asked.

"This weekend, he came to talk to me and saw the kids and it all came flooding back" she told her.

"That's great Jen" Ziva told her, truly happy that Jenny wasn't in pain anymore that everything was going back to normal, or as normal as it ever got at NCIS.

"He's working okay isn't he?" Jenny asked after a moment.

Ziva thought for a moment before nodding "He called Tony, McGee once but other than that" she told her "He's good" she told her "I better get back, see you later" she nodded before leaving Jenny to go back to her emails.

…

Hours later, shortly after the clocks had turned five Gibbs walked into his wives office, not waiting to be announced as usual, Luke in his arms, both Gibbs men ready to go home.

He smiled at what he saw, Jenny standing with her back to him looking out of the window down at the harbour below.

"I've missed that view…the harbour isn't bad either" He said breaking the spell that had come over to the room.

Jenny turned and smiled at her husband and son, "Daddy thinks he's funny doesn't he?" she said taking Luke from his father's arms and holding him close and pressing a kiss to his head, Luke babbling to himself happily.

"You ready to go?" Gibbs asked his wife.

"Just a minutes" Jenny told him passing him back Luke and then going to check her emails one last time, not wanting to face her bosses raff if she missed any important work.

Meanwhile Gibbs looked around at all of the pictures she had displayed, on her shelf and there were some that were on her desk, he smiled at the one of them on their wedding day, he looked at the younger him and Jenny and smiled at how in love they looked and how much he almost wished he could go back to that day and relive everything from the nervous waiting and the alter and the wedding night.

The thought of the wedding night made him think of Jasper, he'd been surprise just like Luke, he remembered how scared Jenny had been when she'd told him she was pregnant, how she thought he would be so angry and the surprise on her face had been priceless when he'd smiled and kissed her instead of yelling.

His gaze then turned to the picture of their three children, all of them beautiful, all a little crazy in their own way, but together they were a family, they completed each other, he wouldn't change any of them for the world, not even a hair on their heads.

Especially Jess's head, he loved that she had her mother's hair colour, as soon as they found out they were having a girl he'd wanted her to have her mothers red hair, it was always so pretty to him and a little unique.

"Jethro are you okay?" Jenny asked, looking at her husband in concern, having turned to him and found him lost in deep thought.

"I'm fine" Gibbs told her his voice a little hoarse, "Just lost in memories" he told her.

"Good ones I hope" she told him with a smile as she got out of her chair, Gibbs just nodded before going to the door and Jenny followed closely behind, ready to go home for the evening.

…

As the evening turned to night Gibbs had had to read Luke two stories to get him to sleep, "Night little man" he said pressing a kiss to his forehead and pulling the covers up around him before going to the plug socket by the door and turning on the night light, he took one last look at his youngest son before closing the door softly behind him.

Gibbs then walked down the hall, checking on Jess on his way and finding she was asleep with her I-pod still in her ears, so he crept over to her, smiling at the chest that sat at the bottom of her bed, the memories of them making it together filling his mind for a moment.

He then went back to his mission in hand and carefully pulled the headphones from her ears and then looked at the machine to figure out how to shut it off, he pressed a couple of buttons but it only made the music a lot louder, Gibbs cringed before managing to shut it down, he turned glad to see that Jess just ended up rolling away groaning.

Quickly he then made his way to the door and shut it behind him, as he walked passed Jaspers room he the door was open a little bit and he could see Jay was just watching TV so then he headed to his own room.

He smiled upon seeing Jenny already in bed waiting for him, Gibbs himself changed into his sleep trousers and an old NIS t-shirt before slipping into bed beside her, Jenny automatically curled into his side, her arm going across his waist lightly, "Love you" she mumbled sleepily.

"Love you too Jen" Gibbs replied, this was what he had wanted more than anything in the world, to be able to love again, love children again, love a wife again and to be with them.

The end…

**Kind of sucky story I know, please review anyway this had been fun! Thanks for all the reviews and support.**


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